四级写作经典范文及点评：远离电子游戏
时间：
未知2
英语四级作文
电子游戏的本质只是一种消谴，一种娱乐。作为学生，我们的本职工作是学习，可以体验一下电子游戏的乐趣，却不能深陷其中而无法自拔。
Step Away From the Video Games
Every afternoon hundreds of thousands of youths flood Internet cafes, switch on a game console, or otherwise sit down to involve themselves in intense fantasy worlds.① I’m talking about video games, games like Counter Strike, Diablo, Smash Brothers or Halo. These games can be fun and exciting, but we need to watch out for when this pastime becomes an addiction.
Games are often incredibly exciting and dramatic, but they generally aren’t very intellectual. We don’t learn as much from them as we would simply reading a book, and spending too much time playing them can take away our study time. We need to remember that we are students first and foremost.② Nothing should ever get in the way of proper studying.③
Video games can also be a bad influence on younger children who may be watching. Many video games are violent and the object in most of them is to kill the other players. This does not send the right message to the children who need to be told that violence is not acceptable and need to be taught how to handle situations maturely. Even if we do decide ourselves to sit down and play a violent video game, we need to make sure that it is not influencing the younger people around us.④ ［221 words］
行文点评
文章以描述现象开始进入主题，逐步分析原因得出结论并提出呼吁。文章开头作者先提到一个普遍存在的现象：许多年轻人沉迷于电子游戏。最后一句为过渡句，作者先指出video games非常有趣、刺激，紧接着运用转折连词but将话题一转，顺势提出作者的观点：我们必须提防不要沉迷于这种消遣。在第二、三两段中，作者阐明了玩游戏的弊端，每段的首句都是这一段的主题句。第三段结尾处作者用even if提出妥协性的呼吁，为短文画上一个圆满的句号。
本文使用了一些精彩的固定搭配，使文章增色不少，例如：第一段中的hundreds of thousands，switch on，take away，first and foremost等等。
好文妙译
远离电子游戏
每天下午，成百上千的年轻人就会涌进网吧，接通游戏控制台，或者坐下来自己一人沉溺于一个紧张的梦幻世界。我说的是电子游戏，像反恐精英、暗黑破坏神、任天堂明星大乱斗或是光环。这些游戏非常有趣、刺激，但我们必须提防不要沉迷于这种消遣之中。
游戏通常都非常刺激、生动，但通常并不能锻炼智力。玩游戏并不能像读书那样学到很多知识，况且花太多时间玩游戏也会占据我们读书的时间。我们必须记住，首先也是最重要的一点是，我们还是学生。没有什么应该影响我们正常的学业。
电子游戏对于那些只是观看的小孩也是一个坏影响。许多电子游戏都非常暴力，其目标大部分都是杀死另外的玩家。对于那些必须教会他们暴力是不正当的，必须教会他们成熟处理事情的孩子来说，这并没有传达一个正确的信息。即使我们自己决定坐下来打一场刺激的电子游戏，也必须确保没有影响到周围的年轻人。
词汇斟酌
?console n. 控制台，游戏台
?switch on 用开关开启，接通电源
?intense a. 强烈的，剧烈的，紧张的；专注的，热情的
?pastime n. 消遣，娱乐
?addiction n. 沉迷，上瘾
?incredibly ad. 难以置信地
?intellectual a. 智力的，有才智的
?maturely ad. 成熟地，充分地
?violence n. 暴力
佳句临摹
①【注释】hundreds and thousands of...成百上千的…
【临摹】Within a month, there would be hundreds of thousands of cases and hundreds of thousands of deaths.仅在一个月内，就发生了成百上千的个案以及死亡案例。
②【注释】first and foremost 首先并且最重要的
【临摹】He does a bit of writing, but first and foremost he?s a teacher. 他也写一些文章, 但他主要是个教师。
③【注释】get in the way of 阻碍
【临摹】You should never let fear get in the way of you pursuing success.永远不要让恐惧成为你追求成功的绊脚石。
④【注释】even if即使，纵然，尽管
【临摹】Even if I had to walk there all the way I’ll get there.即使我得一路走着去，我也要走到那里。
思如泉涌
Lookers-on see more than players.当局者迷，旁观者清。
The time of life is short; to spend that shortness basely, it would be too long.人生苦短，若虚度年华，则短暂的人生就太长了。
Step Away From the Video Games
Every afternoon hundreds of thousands of youths flood Internet cafes, switch on a game console, or otherwise sit down to involve themselves in intense fantasy worlds.① I’m talking about video games, games like Counter Strike, Diablo, Smash Brothers or Halo. These games can be fun and exciting, but we need to watch out for when this pastime becomes an addiction.
Games are often incredibly exciting and dramatic, but they generally aren’t very intellectual. We don’t learn as much from them as we would simply reading a book, and spending too much time playing them can take away our study time. We need to remember that we are students first and foremost.② Nothing should ever get in the way of proper studying.③
Video games can also be a bad influence on younger children who may be watching. Many video games are violent and the object in most of them is to kill the other players. This does not send the right message to the children who need to be told that violence is not acceptable and need to be taught how to handle situations maturely. Even if we do decide ourselves to sit down and play a violent video game, we need to make sure that it is not influencing the younger people around us.④ ［221 words］
行文点评
文章以描述现象开始进入主题，逐步分析原因得出结论并提出呼吁。文章开头作者先提到一个普遍存在的现象：许多年轻人沉迷于电子游戏。最后一句为过渡句，作者先指出video games非常有趣、刺激，紧接着运用转折连词but将话题一转，顺势提出作者的观点：我们必须提防不要沉迷于这种消遣。在第二、三两段中，作者阐明了玩游戏的弊端，每段的首句都是这一段的主题句。第三段结尾处作者用even if提出妥协性的呼吁，为短文画上一个圆满的句号。
本文使用了一些精彩的固定搭配，使文章增色不少，例如：第一段中的hundreds of thousands，switch on，take away，first and foremost等等。
好文妙译
远离电子游戏
每天下午，成百上千的年轻人就会涌进网吧，接通游戏控制台，或者坐下来自己一人沉溺于一个紧张的梦幻世界。我说的是电子游戏，像反恐精英、暗黑破坏神、任天堂明星大乱斗或是光环。这些游戏非常有趣、刺激，但我们必须提防不要沉迷于这种消遣之中。
游戏通常都非常刺激、生动，但通常并不能锻炼智力。玩游戏并不能像读书那样学到很多知识，况且花太多时间玩游戏也会占据我们读书的时间。我们必须记住，首先也是最重要的一点是，我们还是学生。没有什么应该影响我们正常的学业。
电子游戏对于那些只是观看的小孩也是一个坏影响。许多电子游戏都非常暴力，其目标大部分都是杀死另外的玩家。对于那些必须教会他们暴力是不正当的，必须教会他们成熟处理事情的孩子来说，这并没有传达一个正确的信息。即使我们自己决定坐下来打一场刺激的电子游戏，也必须确保没有影响到周围的年轻人。
词汇斟酌
?console n. 控制台，游戏台
?switch on 用开关开启，接通电源
?intense a. 强烈的，剧烈的，紧张的；专注的，热情的
?pastime n. 消遣，娱乐
?addiction n. 沉迷，上瘾
?incredibly ad. 难以置信地
?intellectual a. 智力的，有才智的
?maturely ad. 成熟地，充分地
?violence n. 暴力
佳句临摹
①【注释】hundreds and thousands of...成百上千的…
【临摹】Within a month, there would be hundreds of thousands of cases and hundreds of thousands of deaths.仅在一个月内，就发生了成百上千的个案以及死亡案例。
②【注释】first and foremost 首先并且最重要的
【临摹】He does a bit of writing, but first and foremost he?s a teacher. 他也写一些文章, 但他主要是个教师。
③【注释】get in the way of 阻碍
【临摹】You should never let fear get in the way of you pursuing success.永远不要让恐惧成为你追求成功的绊脚石。
④【注释】even if即使，纵然，尽管
【临摹】Even if I had to walk there all the way I’ll get there.即使我得一路走着去，我也要走到那里。
思如泉涌
Lookers-on see more than players.当局者迷，旁观者清。
The time of life is short; to spend that shortness basely, it would be too long.人生苦短，若虚度年华，则短暂的人生就太长了。